Our Little Geekling

Our journey toward finding out what it means to be a parent.

So… April 25, 2010

Filed under: Life and Love — mrsdangelo @ 06:55

So… It’s been awhile since I’ve updated my blog. I just haven’t felt very bloggy lately. It was a big week for me, which in most cases would mean I would blog a lot, but no. Sorry!

This week had its good and bad points.

Bad first: Monday was the 15th anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing of the Murrah Federal Building. I was in 7th grade when the bombing happened, and it was about 25 miles away from where I lived. My dad’s office is only 8 blocks away from the site of the bombing. At the time, I knew my mom and baby sister (she’s 20 now) were going to be in the city, but not anywhere near downtown, and I figured my dad was at work. My dad called my mom to let her know he was okay so she could notify our schools. She did so, and they got the message wrong. So I was called into the office at school and told that my mom and sister were fine. They didn’t tell me anything about my dad. I waited until that evening to find out that he was okay. Not cool middle school that will remain unnamed! (My sister’s school got the message right, so she was okay.) The school notified all of the kids whose parents had called in before having teachers announce what happened in classes. Devastating doesn’t begin to cover it. April 19th is a hard day in the life of every Oklahoman. For us, it’s similar to 9/11 or the assassination of JFK in that we all know exactly where we were, how old we were, what we were doing, etc., when we found out about it. For  us, it was our first clue to the fact that living in Oklahoma, in the Bible Belt, in the southern part of the country (or at least the part of the Midwest that functions more like the South) didn’t mean you were safe. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Tuesday was equally sad, in that it was the 11th anniversary of the shooting at Columbine High School outside of Denver. At the time, I had no real connection to the city of Denver or its people. Now I do. I still don’t know anyone who died that day or was injured that day, and I don’t think I know anyone who personally knew anyone who was. But the events that day in Littleton shocked the country, including our city. My hometown is similar to Littleton in that it’s a suburb of a capital city, it’s mostly middle-class, white families, and the school was similar in size. The same cliques as are present at all high schools were in our school as well. The same access to weapons as the kids at Columbine had is present in my hometown. The next day there were at least a dozen cop cars at our high school. Normally there were two. We started having drills for intruders in addition to fire and tornado drills. Everyone was aware, once again, that violence wouldn’t necessarily skip us. So sad.

On to the good! Monday was my first day of work. I really think I’m going to enjoy my job. I just had orientation on Monday, and it was not a full day, and I didn’t do any of my actual job (I wasn’t even at my job center). Tuesday I reported to my job center and started figuring things out. I feel like I’m catching on! I won’t give away too much information, because we like our privacy (and I don’t really feel like it’s any of your business), but I’m working for a local company in an industry in which I’ve worked before, but in a different position than anything like I’ve had before. It’s entry-level, but since it’s all new to me I don’t mind at all starting at the bottom. Plus, my company is really big on promoting from within, so I’m confident that I have room to grow. I’m really excited about my job. I like my co-workers, and they don’t seem to be put off by my eccentricities (at least not yet). The only hard part is that my job center seems to be inundated by people with small children. It’s really hard, sometimes, to take. I have only talked to two people about our situation, and they have both been very understanding and great. I’m not ready to tell everyone what happened, but sometimes it’s hard for me to hear about other people’s children (not the children of my friends and other loved ones, but people I don’t know that well – hard to explain). Something I’m working through.

Thursday Jim was home all morning to take care of house stuff, and our builder came by to fix some stuff covered by our warranty, and a guy from Lowe’s came to install our storm door. I LOVE our storm door! My intention was for our pets to be able to sit and watch the neighborhood at the door, because they do that at the window. They don’t really do that (sometimes Sakana does), but we have our front door open all the time now, and I love the light coming in. We hardly ever turn lights on at our house anyway, so it just adds to our love of natural light. Thursday evening after work I put together our new bookshelf so we could finally unpack our books (!).

Today Jim and I worked on the house all morning, and got our GIANT mirror put up above the fireplace, which looks great. And I got all of the books unpacked. Um. We read a LOT and have a LOT of books. We are going to have to buy a small bookshelf to put in the office because the big one isn’t big enough. Still looks great, though. Our office is almost completely put together! I still have to put our files away (into our broken filing cabinet), but they are nicely tucked away in a closet for the time being. We went to buy a bed for our guest room, because my father-in-law is staying the night with us tonight. So that room is almost pulled together. It feels so good to have our house almost completely done! (Details on our house-warming party to come, for all of you that know us personally; it will be in mid-late May, I think.)

Anyway, that’s about all that’s going on for now. Even though I can ramble on forever, there isn’t really a lot going on. I have books to add to the book page, so look for those in the coming days.

Thanks, as always, for continuing your prayers and thoughts for us. We really appreciate it. Me getting a job is just one more daily reminder that the job I had planned for didn’t pan out, and that our lives are in a completely different place now than we had intended them to be (not just geographically, but emotionally, too). Realizing that if we become parents again in the next few years I’ll probably have to be a working mom is hard for me to handle and think about. Understanding why Angel was taken away from us and why things are the way they are is really difficult for me to endure each day. I’m daily so sad to be without her and so happy to be with Jim and making our home and life together, that my thoughts get all jumbled. All of that to say thank you for your thoughts and prayers. They are coveted, wanted and oh-so-appreciated.


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